Friendly Racism

I wrote this piece a while ago and thought I would go ahead and publish it after Barack Obama's speech today.

The discussion of racism has to start again. Not so much for the old atrocities or today's discrimination for one can argue that one must be let go off and the the other is no longer blatant. The discussion must be had to begin the process of elimination of a much more subtle kind of racism - racism with a small "r" if you will. It is not the racism of treatment but of feeling. As long as a White person feels that they may offend some Black person by saying something even minor, as long as a Black person feels that they were asked for more documentation to take a test drive because they were black, there is racism. Human beings are not like video cameras that capture exactly what's out there. What's out there does not matter most of the time. What matters is what's in here, buried deep in your heart.

So this is what I wrote:

"I hate to call myself anything but American, but to illustrate a point I'll offend myself by hyphenating me for a little while and calling me "Indian-American". Well now then I am special. That's how this country of mine makes me feel everyday. I would still like to hope that a majority of the people who treat me differently do so not with malice but out of ignorance. That is consolation to a degree but some days I think, can I not expect, given the opportunity that this country has for people to know about me, where I come from and more importantly what I aspire to be, to not treat me special? Is this ignorance justified?

So who are these ignorant racists I keep running into? The store clerk who asks me to repeat my question due to his unshakable belief that he’s got to struggle to understand me? The insurance agent I've been talking to over the phone for several years, talking slowly to me in person as suddenly my look convinces him that I may not understand what he's saying? The nice people at church who welcome me to "their" culture despite the fact that that's the only culture I've known since birth? The people who make it a point to tell me there's meat in what I am eating? The people at work who seem to think I have two countries where I can search for jobs in case of a layoff? The people who simply wonder why I won't retire in my "own" country? Yes, these are the friendly racists to whom I feel like screaming, "I am in my country idiots. Stop handling me with care."

The recent George “Macaca” Allen episode is such a classic example of the assumptions I talk about. An Indian-American was welcomed to America!! I don’t know George and am not going to judge him except to say that he did make an assumption. On the other hand, I am not sure why Webb sees it necessary to repeatedly point out that Siddart stayed at a family member’s house. Should Siddart feel grateful that he’s been accepted!!

It is not just White people who fall into this category of ignorant friendly racists that I am supposed to forgive. People of my "national origin" - to use a term that no one can clearly define - expect me to be "them". I get invited to "festivals" that I have never celebrated in my life but my co-national-originees seem to think I would want to anyway. These people, who expect me to be somewhere, do something; vote in one way, wave one flag or the other, are also an increasing and annoying makeup of the friendly ignorant racists I tolerate each day.

I ignore the deliberate caustic racists who just won’t change but am saddened by the unbeknownst racism that exists in many a decent, fair person’s heart. I believe that people do understand that others who look different want the same good things in life. To these people, I say it is far better to make mistakes due to ignorance of specific customs than to follow an assumption that some people are different and continuously exhibit to them that they are. The commonness of where we are going is more important to me than the differences of where we came from. So let’s simply bond on that, stop the unintended insult and for heaven’s sake, let me eat my pork."